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Emily Dunkin Had a Little Brother

by Anne on February 21st, 2012

Emily Dunkin had a little brother.
She often wished to exchange him for another.
So one day when her parents were distracted,
She grabbed him, put him in the stroller and acted.

“C’mon, Harris, we’re going on a trip!”
She gave him a blankie and some juice to sip.
She took him back to the Sibling Store
Where she proudly marched right on through the door.

She told them of her dissatisfaction.
They promised to take some immediate action.
“Pick out another and you will not pay.
Leave him here. Take the new kid away.”

She then examined their wide selection
Hoping there was one that would pass inspection.
“I’ll take a look. There must be something better.
I want to act before his diaper gets wetter.”

“That blue-eyed babe?” “Well, he likes to bite.”
“Moptop there?” “Cries throughout the night.”
“Chubby cheeks?” “Sorry, puke galore.”
“Sleepy head?” “What a total bore.”

“The one with the hat?”
“Is particularly snotty…
Not only that,
He’s as mean as John Gotti.”

“This just in: a perfect pair!”
“Twins?” she said, “I could not bear.”
“Dimples may be the best in group.”
“You won’t think so when you smell his poop.”

Emily thought and came to this conclusion:
A perfect brother is just an illusion.
“I guess I’ll stick with the one I know.”
So she took him back and off they did go.

She feared the noise going up the stoop
But nobody noticed they had flown the coop.
She placed him back in his tidy crib.
Leaving not a sign of what she’d done did.

From → Humor

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